Teenage gifts can be very tricky indeed if you’re (excuse the expression) an “oldie”. This term,  as used by teenagers applies to anybody over 30.

Even if you think you have a direct line to ‘teenagism’ you have to be careful as trends change soooooo quickly. Today's  nang  is tomorrows gay .

Roughly translated this means today's cool is tomorrows  old fashioned/ out of date/ boring.   

You can easily be misled by these words because they don’t always mean what you think. For example if a teenager calls something  “trendy”  they probably mean it’s old fashioned and not something they would hanker after, and not, as we might expect, bang up to date, and desirable.

Here is a beginners guide to understanding teenage speak, which is a vital tool when trying to understand what on earth a teenager might actually want to have.

Positive terms

Cool

Quality - very good indeed

Nang - good

Wicked - everything including food

Phat -  everything except food

Slick - applies to mostly plans but can be other things especially clothing

Well good - is actually well good!!!!

Fit  - used to apply only to people but can now be anything.

Immense -  superlative, absolutely fantastic

Safe - mostly people

Sick - intonation is everything with this one, it can be either positive or negative depending on how it’s said.

Well - as a prefix to any of any of these words means you've hit the jackpot.

 

Negative terms -   excluding all those that  are universally well known.

Gay  - were not talking homosexual here, anything or person can be gay and it can mean tired, old fashioned, out of date,  or disappointing and generally  not going according to plan .

Pants

Rubbish

Crap

Bate

Trendy

Naff

OK or nice -  means that they really hate it unless it’s said ‘niiiiiiice’  which is again pretty good.

Know Your Teen

Most teenagers fall into an identity group which defines who they are and most importantly the kind of clothes, accessories, music they like. Getting the wrong gear even if it did cost a fortune means it will be received with a polite, or possibly not so polite “nice” and then slung in the back of the wardrobe never to see the light of day again. They are  intractable, if it doesn’t match their image it will  never be used.

I have compiled this identity guide for you at great expense in consultancy fees to my  15 year old daughter.  

So.....Here are the main identity groups, as of spring 2006

 

Goths - Boys & girls

Identify a Goth:  wears black everything, including lipstick and nail polish (even the boys)Long skirts with ragged bottoms, corsets, wide legged  jeans, lace up boots, fish netting accessories - tights, tops, fingerless gloves,  

What they like.  If I can use this term, as a rule of thumb they don’t like anything except death.  (I’m quoting my daughter here)

Make up - black liquid eyeliner,  black mascara, dark eye shadows, black or dark red lipsticks.  Dog collar type leather bracelets and chokers and chunky silver rings

Clothing brands they favour: Fairy Goth Mother,   “Emily Strange” , and boots by  “New Rock”

 

 Emo - boys & girls, short for emotional, deep thinkers, poets,

Identify an Emo: wears, tight / skinny fit  jeans, stripy tops, or tight fit T shirts.

fingerless gloves, hats - knitted type beanie hats with small visors,

Girls favour brightly coloured dolly or pump shoes, and “converse” boots, for boys as well.

Hair is always long hanging over the face

Girls go for colourful make up and the boys just do eye liner.  

Chunky rings and lots of bangles and those plastic multi coloured bracelets from “Claire's Accessories”.

Boys like wide leather bracelets and often wear open shirts over tight fitting T shirts and low slung wide legged jeans.

Skaters  - mostly boys, Extreme sports, skateboard, BMX bikes, skates, surfing and Play Station

Identify a skater: wears baseballs caps or beanies, knitted tight fitting hats (no bobbles), baggies (enormously large baggy trousers) have their wallets attached to their clothing with a chain. T shirts with bold prints E.g., “Tony Hawks Underground” (play station game) Huge, chunky, thick soled trainers, zip up hoodies. Canvas belts, sweat bands for the wrists, silver chains, for necks or to attach to their clothing,

 Grungers are skaters without a skate board, mostly the girls, but wears all the same kind of gear but a little more feminine, e.g., purple cord baggy trousers

Clothing Brands they favour:  Quicksilver, O'Neill

 

Chavs - boys and girls

Identify a Chav:  wears, uses, carries anything  with a Burberry check, (not genuine), from pants to pencil cases,  also wears sports clothing with Nike, Adidas, and Reebok logos. Zip up tracksuits in baby pink/blue/white  for girls and usually black, white or beige for boys, with hooded tops.  

 Bling being the other trend, loads of heavy gold  jewellery like sovereign rings, big earrings.

Lots of spiky gelled hair do's.

Now you have an idea about  what clothes and accessories different  identity groups like,

 

SO, what else do teenagers like?

CASH  of course, OR VOUCHERS

No 1 choice of gift for many teenagers, but if you’re  like me I hate giving cash, it seems so.. Well I don’t really know what, but I still hate giving cash so I go for vouchers. I think most kids view them as the next best thing to getting pound notes in their hand.  They can get what they want.

Voucher Express is a terrific one stop  voucher shop. They have a wide choice of top-branded gift vouchers & gift cards which can be exchanged for goods in major retail stores throughout the UK.

www.voucherexpress.co.uk

While on the subject of vouchers, probably the most appreciated kind will be for music shops

Music, games and movies

Don’t  bother to buy music or games CD’s unless they have told you exactly what to buy,  just get a voucher. If you buy from an online shop like HMV chances are they won’t be able to redeem it in a high street shop but only online.  Music and games are usually cheaper online than in a store anyway.

If you know what you want go to Play.com,  for music, games, movies books and more besides. I use  this site  all the time, they have terrific prices and fast  free delivery plus a no quibble returns policy.

www.play.com

MP3 players  These are probably the most  wanted  gift at the moment, there are a great many different types but two of the best know are Ipod and Creative Zen. They range from simple players to all singing all dancing, photo and movie models. The prices vary from £15 to £££££££? If you go for one of these  buy the biggest  memory you can afford. The cheapest ones  probably only have 128 / 256 MB memories and will probably be sneered at by the more image conscious kids. Go for 512 MB and over and you’ll get a thumbs up.

If they already have an Ipod type gadget you can get all kinds of accessories for them.

www.sdvancedmp3players.co.uk

 

Games consoles like Playstation and Xbox   & the New Generation MP4 - CLICK  HERE for more info

are much loved mostly by the guys and the Playstation Portable (PSP) is the latest model out. Most teenage boys would think they  died and gone to a better place if they woke up on Christmas morning, or any morning, to find a PSP under the tree.

Visit Micro Direct for a great selection of players and related goodies. The kids just love all this stuff, you’ll be  relative of the year  if you get one of these (as long as it’s not the cheapest one) Well image is everything.

www.microdirect.co.uk

 

Mobile Phones

is one of the UK’s top mobile phone retailers and has been leading the way with the best customer offers since 1997. Mobileshop have a fantastic dedication to customer service and a well-designed site that is friendly , easy to use and very efficient.

SEE MOBILESHOPS SPECIAL OFFERS   

Having two teenagers myself we have been through a great many mobile phones and dealt with most of the phone shops at one time or another and I have to say that to date we have been nothing but delighted with the service we have received from Mobileshop, and I really couldn’t say as much about quite a few of the others.

Mobileshop.com

 

 In a band, likes to play guitar or wants to learn?

For guitars including second hand, amplifiers, sound mixers, computer interfaces to record and compose music at home, and all related musical gear.  Also  lots of quite cheap neat accessories for guitars like straps, picks, carry cases, tuition books and videos, sheet music.  Oh and drum machines., for adding the beat to all their own tracks.

www.musicstreet.co.uk

 

Posters & prints, which teenage room doesn't have some?

Allposters have a very extensive  and contemporary range of poster, prints, photo’s even   T shirts.  Movies, bands, sport, TV programs (Simpsons is very popular with this group), also fine art, vintage and  arty photos. Really unbeatable selection, everyone has a favourite someone or thing and  this is definitely the place to find an appropriate poster.

www.allposters.co.uk

 

Maybe they fancy ‘doing a bit of TV’

You can buy them a subscription to BEONSCREAN, where they can apply to get on all the TV shows who are looking for participants, or extras.

Beonscreen.com is the UK's no 1 site for enabling people to take part in their favourite TV shows. It has also revolutionised the way television researchers find participants/audiences/guests for their shows.
www.beonscreen.com/

 

‘the latest smell’

Island Cosmetics is an online retailer selling a large range of male and female  cosmetics and fragrance products at highly competitive prices.
They offer a price guarantee, if you buy anything from them and then find it cheaper elsewhere on the Internet they  refund the difference.  What more could you ask?

They have all the latest perfume brands here.  They also have gift vouchers if your not sure what to go for.

www.islandcosmetics.com

 

CAUTIONARY NOTE  (this is a bit tongue in cheek, but for a good many teenagers  it won’t be too wide of the mark.)

What  teenagers DON’T want to get -  This applies especially to 15+ teenagers.

Under no circumstances give a teenager anything that you have made, bought  at the school Christmas fair or had passed down to you. THEY WILL KNOW.  Home made does NOT resonate. If it isn’t Dolce & Gabbano they won’t understand it. The only possible exception to this might be, and  the  key word here is might, is  a knitted scarf. Got to be right wool,  right colour,  right size needles, but get it right and your onto a winner.

Girls: Anything Barbie: yes true they used to love them, but that was two years ago!

Cheap make up: Mega packs or palettes, you know the kind, containing 25 of each colour lipstick, eye shadow etc. (one classy piece in this year’s colour will be much more appreciated)

Photo frames and diaries: unless they come from Monsoon.

When buying  for girls please note that any brand name that begins with Miss in a no no,  except Miss Sixty, which is definitely  yes, yes.

Boys: Action man, air fix models and probably anything that they liked two years ago.

This applies to both guys and gals.

Fake anything, perfume, designer label clothing, baseball caps, and especially trainers

Phone accessories like small armchairs to keep their mobile in.  They won’t.

Make your own jewellery sets,  plaster gnome,  or painting by numbers.

On that note, may I wish you the very best  of luck, and happy shopping.